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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Welcome to the latest Daftman Direct, where we'll be bringing you all the latest awesome mods for your favorite games! First up we have something for a true classic, something that definitely should have shipped with that game. My dear friends, I give you The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time—Milk Mod Economy! Hang up the sword and shield of the hero and take up the stool and bucket of the dairy farmer! Link finds himself in charge of Lon Lon Ranch and so saving the world will have to wait. Take part in the awesome milking mini game, churn butter, craft cheese and other dairy delights, and then take your wares to market to sell. Enjoy realism like never before seen in this series with new activities ripped straight from today's headlines, like abusing power and position for your own personal gain and lying in people's faces to further your own agenda! Is the land of Hyrule going to hell without the legendary hero to save them? At least they can get ice cream now...if they've got the rupees to pay, that is!
But why should Link get all the fun? Introducing Super Mario Odyssey: Milk Mod Superstar! "But wait, daftman!" I can hear you listeners now. "Are there any cows to milk in Odyssey?" Who needs cows when you have goombas?? That's right! Thanks to the power of modding, our squat little frenemies are now walking milk jugs ripe for exploitation! What's more, you can now breed goombas, boosting vague stats and chasing the elusive albino goomba, which gives the sweetest of all cremes. Worried about Bowser? Sell to his minions and topple his empire with the power of motherflipping capitalism. Peach won't turn you down when your own fortune dwarves hers.
Rather stick with actual animals? Introducing Animal Crossing: New Horizons—Milk Mod Revenge! Upgrade your house, collect stuff, and milk your neighbors! Cows and goats, sure, but it's open dairy season on everyone else. Koalas, rhinos, penguins, you name it. But why stop there? Expand your business and put the squeeze on Tom Nook. Milk that racoon dry!
More into human milk-makers? Then this next one is for you! Introducing Mario Tennis Aces: Harem Anime Adventures! Pick either of the Mario bros and go after Peach, Daisy, Pauline, or Rosalina...or all of them at once! Play tennis but also enjoy awkward social situations and unskippable bathhouse sequences. Find true love...or just get lucky! But beware of Bowsette. She's always willing but never comes free. Fulfill certain conditions to unlock hard mode and try to woo the ladies as Wario. Good luck!
If that last one didn't satisfy your lust for awkward social encounters, then let me introduce Luigi's Mansion 3: Waluigi's Love Mansion! Invite the Mushroom Kingdom's eligible ladies to your love mansion, put them in dangerous situations, and save them to win their hearts. Be sure to keep your charm level up to avoid any nasty face slaps, but who could say no to the Mushroom Kingdom's most available bachelor? Voyeur mode coming soon!
That's all I have for you today. Keep it awkward, folks! Daftman, signing off.
Cage Match:
Despite being fairly old myself, I am not sure who Mr. Do! is, and so I'm voting for Dig Dug.