PixlBit

I don't really get the Zelda/Dark Souls comparison since it isn't even the Nintendo series most similar to DS. Metroid has much more in common with the Souls games. TP has some similarities with art style and world but they're mostly surface level comparisons, the more you analyze the less they have in common. Gameplay there's few similarities outside exploring a medieval world, TP welcomes you with new areas while DS makes you scared to enter somewhere new. Wind Waker meanwhile has almost nothing in common with Souls games.

That's exactly what they did. They made a game for people like you ironically by using the very first one as their prime inspiration. It's very hands off in guiding you, teaches the basics then let's you decide what to do. You see its inspiration like Assassin's Creed and Skyrim but it just takes ideas from them with its own flavor. 

I'm really behind on horror. Only saw It Follows last week (awesome movie). Hoping to see Get Out tomorrow.

I thought I'd like FF9 but that game honestly bored me to tears. Bayonetta, Zero Mission, and Sly 2 on the other hand I highly approve of

First off, Pokemon Gold/Silver is not the same game as RBY, they have a different region with different gyms, 100 new Pokemon, and after you beat it you can go through the area and gyms from the last game. 

Stage Select:

3. Scalebound- Very new on this list, but a Monster Hunter inspired game where you have your own dragon and combat by Platinum Games is too cool an idea to see die like that.

2. Kirby Gamecube- I really wish Nintendo pulled the trigger and made the jump to 3D for Kirby with this game. What they showed off for the cancelled Gamecube game looked fantastic and over a decade later Kirby is still 2D only.

1. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 3- The first two are my favorite games ever and I know this had to have been at least in planning at some point after 2's cliffhanger ending. TOR has its fans, but I'm not an MMO guy and didn't even care to play far enough to see what happened to Revan and the Exile and just looked it up on Wiki. And it was really lame.

Chrono Crossing:

My 1999 pick is Crash Team Racing (heads up: my picks are going to get very predictable these next few episodes and probably annoy Julian a lot). In some ways it still hasn't been topped such as with its awesome story mode. It takes a lot of a racing game to get my GOTY, but this game was just that good.

Well, I'm not saying anything about the quality of the humor or which one is better. I'm saying what type it is and GTA V just abandons its satire when Michael's family leaves. There's no real message after that, its humor is just that these people are nuts. I get why SR4's humor doesn't work for everyone, but it's still a satire. Same way Blazing Saddles and Spaceballs have the exact same tone of humor, but the former has a message that's satire and the latter is just a parody.

I'd honestly say SR4 is more of a satire than any GTA save Vice City and San Andreas. Satire is less about goofiness and more about the message. Blazing Saddles is one of the goofiest comedies out there for instance, but all of its humor is about race. SR4 is similar in tone, but its commentary was just on video games. Honestly it couldn't have worked better if they planned it since it started serious with 1 and by 4 it was off the wall goofy with a plot about breaking a sandbox to beat hte villain. It took modern video game trends and turned them on their head to say how stupid these ideas are in a serious game.

I'd honestly say GTA V's satire is weaker than SR IV's regardless of whether the humor works more for your taste. Its only real message was how Michael's rich family life was in many ways more fucked up than Franklin's gang and Trevor's white trash lives, but they abandon that halfway through. Other than that it just felt like a parody of LA without really having a message about it. GTA satire really just took a step back in general after Vice City and San Andreas. 

I'm honestly pretty scared about how my home state is reacting. Basically the Cali state government is trying to resist Trump and getting threats of federal funding because of it. The problem with that is we're such a big surplus state, so we can divert what goes to the federal government to more than make up for this. The problem is that would really, really piss Trump off and I'm terrified how he'd retaliate. I'm not saying it's going to happen or even that it's likely, but it's possible which is something I really would rather not have in my own country.

I'm planning to pick up a Switch with Zelda and Bomberman, I'll be set on my own and with buddies. Hoping for some good VC support early on the system's life, Ninty gets pretty bad late in a console with it but early on they're pretty good. Also gonna pick up Yooka-Laylee, Sonic Mania (fuck yeah!), Mario Kart, and maybe Arms/Mario Sports. And even though it's not on your list and know you're not the biggest fan, Crash Bandicoot has me pumped.

PS4 recommendations huh? Well most of my favorites are shooters, but know that's not really your thing, but Garden Warfare 2 is third person and pretty fun. Just avoid 1, that one has no campaign. Tearaway Unfolded is an absolute must if you don't have a Vita, Ratchet and Clank is pretty fun, and Until Dawn is cool if you want a good horror game (recommend playing that one with Jason, divide the characters in half and see who can keep more of them alive).

Hope you enjoy the console. It's been underwhelming to me, but between Crash Bandicoot, Spider-Man, and maybe Horizon I think this will be a pretty kick ass year for me.